My ex husband and I married for over 10 years.When I first met him, he was too good to be true. Loving understanding, generous, kind and promised the world to me. His well respected cops admire by everyone at his town and colleagues. He was a hero to other. He was the first guy Iu2019ve ever been with. I fully trusted him just like my parents relationship trusting, respect and always have your back. I always knew Iu2019ll marry a good man, since I am a happy soul.I Left my life back home to start a new fresh life to a new land and new culture with the man I married. I was excited to start a new beginning.Few weeks after moving in to his place as a married couple I saw the very first red flag of the wonderful man Iu2019ve thought, I found a bunch of naked photos he collected from different women, He gave me a beautiful re-assurance as to why he had those photos.. itu2019s believable he cried.I was young inexperience 19 y/o, living thousand miles across the country away from my family and friends, Naive enough to believe in everything he says, well I supposed to trust my husband heu2019s a lot older than me so I figured Iu2019m safer, If he wasnu2019t a cop he would be a great life speaker. He has the skills to convince anyone to believed everything he said.Within the same year I got pregnant with a beautiful girl sheu2019s a blessing to me. His cheating became evident. Calling names became his favorite word. He is a good player and a Dangerous one I felt bad for the women who fell into his lies. He used them to feed his ego.A part of his strategy is to make sure i know nothing about the world Iu2019m living in, staying dumb and clueless is what he likes, he acts like Mr. Google and everyone is below him.He made sure that my name is no longer what my parents gave me, he granted me a new nick name(cunt, whore, dumb,ugly and more) I didnu2019t like it but he sure gets the joy out of it.From being happy and positive young person I am, I become isolated, sad and Angry. His negative words start to have power over me.He knows how to laughu2026laugh at me, he has the needs to remind constantly that I should be well aware of my confidence should be diminish and not meant to flourish. His ego is huge when my confidence is low.Over time I developed anxiety due to his abusive behavior. Regular conversation become frightful. You never know what insult Iu2019m a getting.One sunny day, he took me shopping I got too excited, yes, I have no access to our bank so I have to constantly ask money from him for my personal expense.I picked the cutest outfit, iu2019d love to think I have a good sense of style, but the excitement replace with embarrassment when he found out my cloths cost him a little over $60, he started belittling me in public, I put the cloths back, too embarrassed to continue shopping, I ran towards the car to hide my self from people staring at us. They felt bad, I felt worst, But those dress though..such a cute outfit that could add a little spice to my confident thatu2019s slowly fading away.I started to make new friends and let me tell you how awesome that felt, I finally found someone to hang out with, well Ofcourse Mr. perfect man cannot handle the positive relationship around me so he has to Interfere, either ruin it or hook up with friends. i lost a lot of friends but few stick up for me and become a family.Years goes by my ex behavior become eradic, abusive, manipulative, heu2019s extreme pathological liar, and mentally ill. How did I manage to stay positive it was tough but I always knew I am better and stronger that his words.One day he told me to pack our belongings and weu2019re moving to different states, I donu2019t want to, I created a family( friends) to where I was and my daughter made a great friendship, but do I have a choice?We moved to another state no friends starting all over again not knowing he planned carefully to divorce me far from my good friends who consoled me. My suffering gives him satisfaction.Slowly regaining independency made him miserable, I fought to go back to school and learned how to drive (thanks to YouTube, no kidding). The more he isolate me the more I tried to become outgoing, I long for connection.It was a bitter sweet mistakes bringing me to the desert I met great new friends, I kept going against his will. I wasnu2019t scared anymore, I learned to endure his abusive behavior. He was furious to see how quickly I adjusted.Heu2019s on the job to ruin my relationship to any of my friends. He reminds me of an alligator sitting quietly waiting/observing for its prey, All the lies he put out there to destroy my inner peace, this time he will not succeed. I figured out to make sure he know nothing about my new friends.I started working out,it was my to way to de-stress, yoga has been my favorite and outdoor Camping gave me an inner peace, I slowly gained all my confidence back, I spend less of my time or possibly no time at all with him. I made myself busy to help me get rid of the negative thoughts, I donu2019t want to entertain self pity. I deleted all sorts of social media to avoid comparing my self to otheru2019s happiness and unrealistic lifestyles I couldnu2019t afford, rather, focus working on my own self progress.One day after I got out of school I went straight to work a gentle man came asking for my name and serve me the divorce paper,I felt a little embarrassed everyone at work knows my business.I had to hire a lawyer when Mr.Respected ex started to create lies and accusations to make sure the judge will favor towards him, his manipulative skills always benefit him, I wish I can speak like him. I donu2019t see the needs to speak poorly against him infront of the judge, all I wanted is a smooth process stating on the paper Iu2019m no longer connected to him and Grant me my daughteru2019s custody, but he is born nasty, no compassion. I truly believed he was born heartless.Eventually, he gave up because guess what this little naive girl will never surrender my rights to my beautiful daughter!, even if it means I have to sleep 2 hrs a day to support my expensive lawyer.I work soo hard to make sure my daughter feel safe and do my best to prall her needs, Its not an easy transition but I kept going, depression has no chance on me. I stayed strong and focus. I cried at times not because Iu2019m depressed but it made me feel better afterwards.Finally, he came into terms, we both signed the divorce paperu2024 I ran downstairs carried the biggest smile on my face and did my happy dance outside the court ( i created my own happy dance) it was the most happiest day of my life. I called my family about the awesome news.I was soo excited, I ran towards the homeless guy sitting on the bench and told him how happy I was, I donu2019t know him I just needed a friend and heu2019s kind enough to Listen to my happy ending. It was a beautiful emotional day for me. I used to just wish for this day to come and here I am In front of the court signing my way back to my freedom and peace.Words are powerful, before I left my old town, I told few of my friends marked my word I will be divorce before I turned 30 and if it wonu2019t happen please come find me and slap me in the face, I said jokingly and here I am divorce before 30.I walk away without asking a penny from this man, I could use alimony but I just want peace and my daughter. I let him keep all his money.Hours after signing all the documents he called to sayu201c I still love you and our family and how sad I am to make a decisions because you have changed. I miss the old you, the way we used to beu201d.my daughter was sitting next to him so I just had to hold my tongue but I really wanted to tell him to u201cfuck Offu201d I wanted to puke with annoyance.Iu2019ve never been soo excited to sign a paper like that in my life.. I could sign that paper all day long, every signatures is a sign of freedom and I made sure to carry extra pen with me Im afraid I will run out of ink.Tears of joyu2024 joy that he will no longer have the power to hurt, belittle and abuse me. The marriage tittle gave him the right to destroy me but itu2019s over.I will do my best to Live happy and mentally healthy. We are not meant to live sad nor scared everyday, life is not supposed to be that way.Marriage should be a relationship where you feel safe, strong , accepted, and love.I am working progress to be the person I used to be and I wanted to be.I become wise, strong and unapologetic.He brings out the lion out of the cat in me..Life experienced truly mold me of who I am today.Got my own flat at the nicest safe neighborhood. my daughter goes to one of the best school in the states with her good friends, found a great job and happy with my freedom, Still working to finish my degree. Im traveling more often, It is safe to say I am strong attracted women who been through soo much but no one can break me.I never stop reminding my 10 year old daughter one day sheu2019ll step into the real world and Iu2019ll never want her to experience what I went through but a strong lesson to remind her about the values of self love and understanding what healthy relationships looks like.I want her to be happy,confident and strong educated women.Mr nightmare ex is heading to his 4th marriage this year. I wish I could tell him to re-evaluate himself before destroying around another soul. I felt bad for that young women, she doesnu2019t know whatu2019s coming.
